Chapters 1-10 Discussion

     This week my group and I decided to read the first 10 chapters of Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers. I’ll be honest, the first few chapters were hard for me to read. Not because it was poorly written, but because I could only think about my son who is 10 and would have Aspergers if they still diagnosed it, instead it is diagnosed as “Level 1 Autism”. I have four kids and two of them have an autism diagnosis, but it’s my son that reminds me so much of the author. There was a part where the author was describing how he was seeking comfort from his mother as he broke down because he didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to make and keep friends. This has been a constant battle we have been fighting with my son. I can’t begin to count the times I’ve sat with him crying or the conversations we have had. The difference is, the author of this book grew up in a time that there wasn’t much advocation for people with autism. As he mentioned, if you talked about autism, you were referring to people who were non verbal with limited self-care capabilities. In our household, we embrace autism and we help teach our children how to advocate for themselves. Our 10 year old and 6 year old both know they have autism, but our 10 year old is able to understand what that means. He will be the first to tell you “I have autism, that’s why I talk a lot sometimes and I can’t be with lots of people…” His social conversations mimic the stories the author has told us in his early years. 

    When John told us the story about how he was trying to make friends and assumed they liked dinosaurs, so he went on and on about dinosaurs to the little girl. I honestly started laughing out loud, because in this house dinosaurs are no joke. If you enter our house, just assume that you will be bombarded with dinosaur facts even if you didn’t ask for them. Our son often struggles with the concept that not everyone has the same interest and in social gatherings, it is considerate to also include topics that interest other people as well. He finds that social rule to make little sense and typically will hide away somewhere where he doesn’t have to engage in conversation. The author talks about a few of his fixations which went from dinosaurs to cars, to how things work. He really is spot on when he mentions how most people with autism or in this case Aspergers fixate on something till they are experts in that field. We currently have a dinosaur expert but also a galaxy and animal fact expert. 

    This story has already hit home not just with my own kids, but my husband too, who also has Aspergers. From the fixations, the stemming (body movements), social conversations, the entire chapter about Empathy; it all is something I can relate to. In fact I am hoping to get my husband to read this book after me. The difference so far in this book and lets say Temple Gradin’s book, is that her book focuses more on autism and how it affects her etc. There is obviously knowledge of autism in this book and he explains, especially in the first few chapters how certain situations are hard for him or at least were. However, this book has also included a lot about his life with abusive and neglectful parents. Given the time though I can understand the importance of putting it in the story, I just can’t fathom ever treating my kids or my students like that or not doing something about it if I knew. That part of his life is what has made him who he is today, it’s just the part I can’t relate to. I’m fascinated with knowing how is social interactions went, especially when he brings up dating. That is a topic I am honestly scared for when it comes to parenting children with autism. 

    What I do need to research more of is the term “aspergarian” which he uses to describe himself and people with Aspergers. I have never heard that term before. Maybe it is because I’m just so used to “people with autism”. It’s like people are afraid of the word autism or autistic. I have really enjoyed this book so far and being able to relate to it in some way is really intriguing. I would love for my son to read this when he gets a little older. He gets so excited when he meets another person with autism. Sometimes if feels as if he thinks he is alone in the world, and that is far from the case. That’s often what the author described it as too. It’s a horrible feeling to think you are alone in the world. This is why it is so important to advocate and to get stories like this out there. 

Keep on advocating

-Kayla